omg, i may have been a little over the top yesterday! i was having a bad day and sometimes i get kinda ott!
well, today was better - for some bizzare reason i spent lunch talking to max and thomas! a very wierd way to spend lunch as thom thinks i'm a bitch and i have no idea what max thinks! but hey lunch spent with people is lunch spent with people!
also instead of doing psychology (oops, bad idea esp. as i have a NAB on friday!) i went round the town with rach getting people to put posters in their shops for the school christmas concert! wierd but atleast i got to talk to her without some of the socially retarded moments caused by other people being around!
mostly today was a good day, 'cept for after school when i stayed to do DofE work with maemae and hannah the lesbian (lesbians scare me! is that wierd? she is!) which was fine i we actually got some stuff done, but then those girls i was bitching about yesterday came in and suddenly i felt like i was invisible to mem!
i just hate having to see someone who used to be my friend, who i'm trying to hate but it doesn't really work, and know that i cant talk to her, not properly coz apparently everything i say annoys her!
And suddenly today didn't seem like such a good day...
but i am counting the days till uni... the days till new people, new begginings and lots of parties!
just 10 months, 10 months and everything will get soo much more interesting!!
Monday, 24 November 2008
Sunday, 23 November 2008
Parents should be banned!
on a wholey different (but still related to my need of a therapist) subject; parents are the worst idea in the world! we should all be raised in giant wharehouses or something just so we don't have to deal with their crap!
i know this girl rite, and her parents are getting divorced because her dad had an affair, and i'm always hearing about all the shit things her dad has done and how sad it is that her parents are getting divorced - i would have a party if my parents got divorced! i mean you would not believe the stupid fucking arguement they had this morning about fucking vegetables! Vegetables! vegetables for fucks sake! it went on for like an hour and lets just say, some stuff got broken! i'm sorry about all the swearing but they are just so fucked up! i really, really wish they would get a divorce! how fucked up is that! who wishes their parents would get a divorce? because of them, i don't think i will ever get married! thats their fault, they did that to me, which is why i'm really starting to think that we would all be better off without them! fucking morons
i know this girl rite, and her parents are getting divorced because her dad had an affair, and i'm always hearing about all the shit things her dad has done and how sad it is that her parents are getting divorced - i would have a party if my parents got divorced! i mean you would not believe the stupid fucking arguement they had this morning about fucking vegetables! Vegetables! vegetables for fucks sake! it went on for like an hour and lets just say, some stuff got broken! i'm sorry about all the swearing but they are just so fucked up! i really, really wish they would get a divorce! how fucked up is that! who wishes their parents would get a divorce? because of them, i don't think i will ever get married! thats their fault, they did that to me, which is why i'm really starting to think that we would all be better off without them! fucking morons
Why?
well, i am a high school girl with no one to spend my lunch with. this is because recently one of my "friends" (lets call her Mary) told me that she "doesn't think that we should hang out any more" (this has never happend to me before) which has basically led to me having no friends, because all the ones i thought i had decided that i wasn't worth the trouble of pissing her off! now this all came as a complete shock to me coz i've known her for over five years, and i know i'm neurotic and annoying, but i figured anyone who has known me for that long already knew this! also if you had asked me who my best friends were, 'mary' would have been one of them! clearly i'm a poor judge of character!
so the reason i started this blog (despite the very low chance of anyone acctually reading it) was because i have no - one to talk to who won't go and tell someone else about it, so i'll tell you!
I haven't changed, i have been this way the whole time! 'mary' hasn't changed that much either, but what has changed is her friendship with a certain "little miss perfect" - you know the kind of person i mean, the one who no matter what you do or how well you do it, you always feel like the're looking down on you, like they're better than you- so in the last 6 months or so 'mary' has been spending more time with 'miss perfect' coz they've had free periods together so get to spend more time together and 'miss perfect' has never liked me, i don't know what the hell i did but she just doesnt like me! maybe i'm not into the right music or brands or whatever but basically she's a bitch to me. so isn't it just a fantastic cooincidence that now that 'mary' spends more time with 'miss perfect' i'm not good enough for her either!!!
ok so why do i now have no friends you ask? well back at the begining of this year (when life was good) we were all one big group of friends (there were ten of us so it really was a big group) and a series of small and stupid arguments and misunderstandings led that to become two seperate groups, what was basically a three and a six, with me in the middle. now i wasn't the only one who didn't hate the smaller group but i was the only one who listened to both sides of the arguements and flatly refused to pick a side! i realise now that this was a really stupid thing to do! but the three had two of my oldest friends and the six had some of my best (or so i thought). after this the three made some new friends and i basically stayed with the six. after the holidays a couple of the six left to go to college so it was a four plus me. (i know that was confusing but bare with me!)
So when 'mary' and 'miss perfect' decided that i wasn't good enough for them, the others decided to stick with them. Now i know what you're thinking, since i didn't pick a side why not just spend more time with the three, well i would; except i am completely socially retarded so i don't get on so well with their new friends and i feel like i make it akward and i don't want to ruin anybody elses lunch by tagging along where i'm not wanted - which leads back to me spending 45 minutes a day with no-one to hang out with whilst trying to hide the fact that i am now a complete loner (lets not even go into my weekends which are depressingly dull). all this has left me with no good friends at school and a parinoia that the two girls that left don't actually want me to talk to them either. A parinoia which isn't helped by the fact that one of them seems to be ignoring my texts, even though i told her to just tell me if she doesn't want me to talk to her and she said that she did want to stay friends. But if thats true why the hell is she ignoring me?
this is why i started this blog, coz i'm fairly certain that after that i need a therapist to tell all this crap to, but this is much cheaper!
so the reason i started this blog (despite the very low chance of anyone acctually reading it) was because i have no - one to talk to who won't go and tell someone else about it, so i'll tell you!
I haven't changed, i have been this way the whole time! 'mary' hasn't changed that much either, but what has changed is her friendship with a certain "little miss perfect" - you know the kind of person i mean, the one who no matter what you do or how well you do it, you always feel like the're looking down on you, like they're better than you- so in the last 6 months or so 'mary' has been spending more time with 'miss perfect' coz they've had free periods together so get to spend more time together and 'miss perfect' has never liked me, i don't know what the hell i did but she just doesnt like me! maybe i'm not into the right music or brands or whatever but basically she's a bitch to me. so isn't it just a fantastic cooincidence that now that 'mary' spends more time with 'miss perfect' i'm not good enough for her either!!!
ok so why do i now have no friends you ask? well back at the begining of this year (when life was good) we were all one big group of friends (there were ten of us so it really was a big group) and a series of small and stupid arguments and misunderstandings led that to become two seperate groups, what was basically a three and a six, with me in the middle. now i wasn't the only one who didn't hate the smaller group but i was the only one who listened to both sides of the arguements and flatly refused to pick a side! i realise now that this was a really stupid thing to do! but the three had two of my oldest friends and the six had some of my best (or so i thought). after this the three made some new friends and i basically stayed with the six. after the holidays a couple of the six left to go to college so it was a four plus me. (i know that was confusing but bare with me!)
So when 'mary' and 'miss perfect' decided that i wasn't good enough for them, the others decided to stick with them. Now i know what you're thinking, since i didn't pick a side why not just spend more time with the three, well i would; except i am completely socially retarded so i don't get on so well with their new friends and i feel like i make it akward and i don't want to ruin anybody elses lunch by tagging along where i'm not wanted - which leads back to me spending 45 minutes a day with no-one to hang out with whilst trying to hide the fact that i am now a complete loner (lets not even go into my weekends which are depressingly dull). all this has left me with no good friends at school and a parinoia that the two girls that left don't actually want me to talk to them either. A parinoia which isn't helped by the fact that one of them seems to be ignoring my texts, even though i told her to just tell me if she doesn't want me to talk to her and she said that she did want to stay friends. But if thats true why the hell is she ignoring me?
this is why i started this blog, coz i'm fairly certain that after that i need a therapist to tell all this crap to, but this is much cheaper!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)